Amalie Berlin On How To Tackle Revisions and GIVEAWAY!

We have author Amalie Berlin visiting today.

Amalie's Website       Facebook     Twitter

Over to Amalie now on how she tackeles revisions...

So, Nas asked me to talk a little bit about revisions. I should probably be pretty good at revisions by now, but they are always more than a little terrifying to me because I know how much work they can be. I love what they do for the story. I love the questions my editor asks in order to make me think about my story and characters in deeper ways. I am totally pro revision, but they still terrify me.

I also know there’s a faction within the writing community that balks at revisions. It messes with the act of creation! All that. It doesn’t, every artist revises – it’s just not called that in visual arts. In my art classes, after initial critiques, we just called it ‘go work on that piece some more,’ which probably sounds less creativity butchering than REVISION. But this is not a post about the importance of revision. 

Following are two examples of scenes where I was working in the emotional growth that I needed to get into the story. The first example, the scene took place in a park and the emotional bit—a conversation that ended the scene—was the truly important part of the scene. Sure, going running in the park and having Dasha tackle and nearly pummel Preston for being an asshat was  fun to write… and it showed that they still had that competitive urge between them, but it didn’t advance their stories. It just showed more of what I had already established: They had issues, Preston was a turd-wrangler, Dasha felt guilty sometimes and wanted to punch him other times…. 

Revision from your editor, story revisions, actually are about re-imagining what could happen at this point in your story. My re-imagining centered on a scenario that could lead into this important conversation while also advancing the characters through their issues.)  

BEFORE

"Stop." He jogged after her, and when she didn't stop, he fell into stride beside her. It seemed like he was working up to say something, but Dasha didn't hurry him. Neither did she stop. He could walk and talk at the same time, and there was still a chance she could get out of the park before she punched him and broke a knuckle. Kicking just didn't satisfy the same way. Neither did imagining punching annoying people over and over again.

"Why now?"

The arm that snagged her about the waist, stopping her escape told her he couldn't walk and talk about this. When she stopped trying to pull away, he let go and backed off, giving her space.

"You won't believe whatever I say, so why are you asking?" Really. When you can't win, you don't play the freaking game.

"Maybe not." Right, there was a chance he'd believe her. Like there was a chance she'd win the lottery without playing. "But tell me anyway."

"I promised Marjorie I would try to fix this."

"Dr. Saunders's wife?" He looked confused.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she is important to me." Dasha didn't want to talk to him about Marjorie. She wanted to help him and move on.

"Why does she care about me? I don't know her."

"She doesn't. She cares about me." Dasha pointed to herself, trying to control the helpless feeling that surfaced every time she thought about Marjorie. (cutting the scene here in the name of brevity)

AFTER

Preston did very little the entire morning. Probation didn’t agree with him on so many levels, but he was determined to see it through. Make the impression they required, and right now that wasn’t about what he could bring to the table skills-wise, it was more about being able to sit at the table with everyone without giving anyone grief. Or being accused of being hard to work with. Or being called an ass.

He shadowed Dasha, celebrated a fairly significant five-day weight loss with Angie, and in general tried to be good. But the instant they were back in Dasha’s office, he closed the door and waited.

She took one look at him and started to talk. He liked it that he didn’t have to remind her what he wanted. “We’ve established that I owe you. And you’ve pointed out my new image a few times, but the thing is I don’t think you really understand. Making things right for you is part of what I need to do to clear my books. I screwed you over, and it was probably the worst thing I’ve ever done. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t expect your friendship. I don’t expect anything from you. I’ve lived with it, and every day I am in this hospital I think about it. I don’t want to live that way any more. I want to fix it. “

“I don’t want you to think I don’t hear or appreciate what you’re saying. I do. And for what it’s worth, I believe you sincerely want to make things right.” Preston held up his hands. She said talking about this would make her cry, so he had to go gently. “I just need to understand what brought this decision now. Why not six months ago or two years from now?”

“I promised Marjorie I would try to fix this.” Not crying yet. Good.

“Dr. Saunders’s wife?” Preston prompted.

“Yes.” 

“Why?”

“Because she’s important to me.” Dasha didn’t want to talk to him about Marjorie. She wanted to help him and move on.

"Why does she care about me? I don't know her."

"She doesn't. She cares about me." Dasha pointed to herself, trying to control the helpless feeling that surfaced every time she thought about Marjorie.(*cut*)

In the second version, Preston doesn’t have to badger Dasha to get information, which kept him from being his usual annoying self(something else that needed paired down. As annoying as he can be in the final version, the first drafts of Preston were so sarcastic that he almost had no other personality traits. So it also saved him from getting punched in the junk.).

Having her get on with it, stop protecting herself, also changed her character. It was a very important first step in her character arc(since she didn’t just need to make amends for the past, she needed to grow up some too over the course of the story). In early drafts, she wanted to help Preston without getting her hands dirty. This revision allowed her to come to the conclusion that she needed to put her cards on the table, she had to make an effort to be as good as she’d always wished she had been in order to show him the way to do it.

This was the hardest book I have written so far. It was harder than my debut was in it’s two major rewrites…Those rewrites were more about showing what I already knew about the characters. The rewrites on this story, the REVISIONS on this story, were about learning how to show those baby steps that all characters take to defeat their inner demons. And when you love messed up characters as I do, that 50K word limit is tight. All scenes have to do as much to advance the plot and subplots as possible.

I could probably write a book about all the things I learned while revising Uncovering Her Secrets, but I’m already on a deadline.  So three things I learned from revising this scene:

1.      If a scene you love is not pulling its weight, cut it. Just being entertaining is not enough to justify its existence.

2.      A little negative personality trait show-and-tell goes a long way. And sometimes being open and up front about your motives causes a deeper conflict than being evasive and fighting to get at the information.

3.      The shorter the word count, the more you have to make sure that the story you’re telling is about the characters CHANGING, not just about how they fight the need to change. That’s important too, but pretty early on they have to give in and start growing or your pace will grind to a halt. And your reader will probably get mondo annoyed with your messed up characters J

Amalie's latest release is UNCOVERING HER SECRETS and she has giveaway for one commenter! 

A chance to make amends…

Hiring her ex, the irresistible Dr. Preston Monroe, is Dr. Dasha Hardin's secret atonement for her unforgiveable past. A plan suddenly complicated by his touch, which still makes her heart zing! Preston must reluctantly trust Dasha and soon wants to discover more about this new feisty, vulnerable woman—the only woman with the strength to fight for his irredeemable soul….

Buy it on Amazon.


And there is a fantastic opportunity for medical romance writers or all writers wanting to try their hand at medical romance. You will get feedback within 24 hours. Read here.

Amalie's latest release is UNCOVERING HER SECRETS and she has an autographed paper copy for one commenter! She's also running a raffle until 4-28-14 at www.amalieberlin.com